I wanted to be on my own. I remember wanting to move into this new student apartment complex right by the college that I wanted to go to.
They had new everything. New door knobs, new flooring, and freshly painted walls.
I could not wait to get out of my house (which was 40 years old) and into a place where I felt a new beginning awaited me.
And yet, within a week of moving into my dream apartment, I moved back into my parents house.
Because I did not like the new surroundings. I thought I would be happy being away from my parents, but I hated coming home to an empty apartment. While my friends loved every moment of their “freedom”, I hated watching TV alone. And I hated the smell of new paint.
Why am I telling you this?
Because a destination wedding is very much like the new apartment that I was looking forward to. Getting married on a tropical island at sunset is a dream we all have but it isn’t necessarily right for everyone. Here are a list of reasons why you should not have a destination wedding.
Let’s start with your surroundings.
The Familiarity Of Home
Do you know everyone in your hometown? Do you feel like your hairstylist knows just the right shade of color to use in your hair. And your salon knows how brittle your nails are. This familiarity with your surroundings and the people within it are a luxury your forfeit when you get married away from home.
Jessica Wyant, a bride who chose not to go with a destination wedding said “My mom already knew many of the vendors since she had already planned my sister’s weddings. So when it time for me to get married, I almost had no planning to do. My florist, decorator, and ceremony sites were selected in a week and then we went and got a block of hotel rooms for wedding guests. That was much easier than having to get to know a new wedding planner that resides 3000 miles away”.
But it isn’t just the familiarity that can keep you away from a destination wedding. It could just be your family too.
Do You Want To Spend A Week With Your Family?
Remember that at a destination wedding, you will have to spend a large amount of time with your family and friends. Guests are going to expect to hang out with you and will include you in their activities too. They have traveled a long way and spent a considerable sum of money to celebrate your wedding so it’s not practical for you to expect much privacy.
Even if you are willing to deal with them the week before your wedding, can most of them afford to attend?
Can Wedding Guests Afford To Spend $1000 Per Person?
Destination wedding are expensive for guests. The average guest will end up spending about 1000 per person and that is just not affordable for many people, especially large families with kids. Adding that kind of strain on family members that may be struggling financially will just add stress and may not be worth it to you.
And the affordability of the destination wedding doesn’t even come into play if they can’t take off from work.
Work. Work. Work.
John Hauser had always “dreamed of getting married on a ski slope atop a mountain resort and while I could afford to pull it off, we decided on a hometown wedding because my family was not going to be able to make it. I am part of a family business and both my brothers and my dad are at the store around the clock. It was not practical for all of us to take off at the same time. I did not even have time to go on a site visit, let alone a week long destination wedding”.
A destination wedding is attended by only 30% of the people you invite. A large portion of your family and close friends may not be able to make it and you have to be comfortable with that knowledge.
But that’s not all. When planning a destination wedding, you have to be able to give up control over many aspects of planning your wedding.
Lack Of Control
Are you the type of person that needs to control every detail of your wedding?
If so, then a hometown wedding will be a better choice than planning an event thousands of miles away. In town weddings have the inherent advantage of proximity and familiarity. If something goes wrong, you can fix it because all your vendors are nearby, and so is your family. And you can take your time to select your florist, and your venue and the thousand other details that make a wedding your own.
As we have learned, a destination wedding is not always the best choice for everyone. While it may be right for some, the thought of giving up the comforts of home is too great for many brides. In the end, the choice of whether to have a destination wedding is a choice that is based on your own needs and wants. Regardless of what anyone else wants you to do, just make sure you are comfortable with your decision. It is, after all, your wedding.
What To Do Next?
If the reasons above don’t strike a cord with you, then start planning a destination wedding by looking at all these great locations.