Brides frequently ask if they are supposed to pay for hotel rooms for their bridal party (Bridesmaids and Groomsmen). After all, the bridesmaids and groomsmen are coming to help with the preparation of the wedding.
Most brides don’t feel like it is their responsibility to pay for the hotel rooms, but they still feel guilty about it.
Should you pay for hotel rooms for the bridal party, even if you can’t afford to?
What if you can’t afford to pay for their hotel rooms?
The average wedding has 4-5 bridesmaids and 4-5 groomsmen. With the average hotel room being around $100 and each person staying an average of two nights, your financial responsibility with taxes will be, on average, over $2000.
That’s a big chunk to have to add to your already too-big-to-justify budget.
So, is it rude to ask the bridal party to pay for their rooms?
In most cases, the answer to this question is no. People know that they are expected to pay their own way when they agree to join the bridal party.
In most cases, these are your most intimate friends and family so it’s not something that would be considered rude.
But what if some of them are expecting you to pay?
If you want to let them know that it is their responsibility without actually having to say as much, then send out an email asking them to book their hotel rooms.
Let them know where you blocked hotel rooms for out of town guests and provide them with the telephone number and the group rate that you negotiated.
A sample email would read like this
We just reserved a block of hotel rooms at [Name of hotel]. For now, we have reserved [XX] number of rooms and we expect them to fill up quickly. Please make your reservations early. Their rate for each night is [Enter $$] plus tax. They do have an indoor pool, free breakfast, and free WiFi (I know many were concerned about this). Remember that our wedding is on Memorial Day and hotels are at their busiest so make sure to reserve in the next couple of weeks. You will need a credit card to make a reservation.
The above email makes it clear that you are not going to be paying for the hotel rooms so that there is no reason for you to feel guilty.
But I feel bad about asking them? They are doing so much for me
You can expect to feel a bit guilty asking the bridesmaids and groomsmen to pay for airfare, hotel, and gifts. In an economy as unstable as ours, that is a lot ask of anyone to do for you.
However, as the bridal party, they knew about the expenses they would incur when they agreed to be a part of it. And if there is grumbling about expenses, then why not help them find a solution.
One solution is to share hotel rooms
Call or send an email to everyone saying something like this:
“Hey, I know you guys are spending a lot of money on travel etc. so why not share hotel rooms? If two of you can share a room, then it cuts down the cost by half. If we can get a two bedded room with a sofa, then three can share which would make the cost a third”.
Another option is to let them rent a house nearby
Many vacation destinations offer tons of rental homes for a week or a weekend. If you have 8-10 in your bridal party, then renting a house will be cheaper than paying for individual hotel rooms.
Lastly, in many cases, if you block a lot of hotel rooms, the hotel will provide a room for free to the bride based on the comp ratio. For example, if your hotel offers you a comp ratio of 1:20 then for every 20 rooms booked under your wedding block, you would get one free.
So if your wedding is huge and has a 60 rooms reserved, then you would get 3 rooms for free. For more information read “How To Get A Free Room When You Block Hotel Rooms For Wedding Guests?”
Are there situations where you have to pay for bridal party rooms
In many cases, a bride may want her bridal party to stay in her suite the night before the wedding to provide company and to help her get ready the following day. In this case, you’re already paying for the room so don’t expect to split the costs with your bridal party.
Another circumstance is if you really want someone to be in your bridal party but they can’t afford it due to a valid reason (Unemployment etc.). In this case, you should pay for their room but be careful not to let everyone else know about it.
Lastly there is nothing wrong with paying for the bridal party hotel rooms
It adds a very classy touch and reduces some of the financial stress that members of your bridal party may be feeling at your wedding.
As you have learned, you are not expected to pay for hotel rooms for your bridal party. In addition, you should not feel guilty about asking them to pay either. Simply use some tact in letting them know when and how to pay for the hotel rooms.