The problem is that when you invite one person, you feel guilty about not ask someone else.
So you end up asking them out of guilt. Before you know it the bridal party has over 30 people in it.
Before the number of people in your bridal party gets out of control, here are some things that you should think about.
How big is the destination wedding going to be?
Once you have determined the number of people you are inviting, only then can you determine the size of the bridal party. It doesn’t make much sense to have six people in your bridal party if the total wedding has 10 people in.
As a general rule, we would select one attendant for every 25 expected attendees. This ratio works fine for destination wedding small and large. Just make sure there are enough people on your bridal party that you can count on to help you plan the event.
Who is going to help me plan the destination wedding?
Large Destination Weddings
If you’re having a large destination wedding, then your bridal party can include your sisters, best friend, and people from your fiance side of the family. Just know that not everyone on your bridal party is going to help you plan your wedding.
Many of the people on your bridal party will just be there so they can stand in line at the altar. Your job is to make sure there are enough people on the bridal party that you can count on to help plan the wedding, and help you at the actual event.
Meeting and greeting guests, seating them, directing them to events, and making the wedding a smooth process are all things the rest on the shoulders of your attendants. So select them carefully.
Small Destination Weddings
If you’re having a smaller destination wedding, then one or two attendants on each side will do. In this case it is absolutely crucial that you select the people that are closest to you.
Don’t invite people to be on your bridal party out of guilt. Simply state that you and your fiance have agreed to have one or two people on the bridal party and that you have to stick to that.
When selecting people on the bridal party for small wedding, it is crucial that you select someone who you can count on to take care of a lot of little details for your destination wedding.
The person you select will help you plan your travel, arrange your invitations, help you select dresses and shoes, and even research hotels for your wedding guests.
As you can see, the duties above require someone who you can count on so make sure you select carefully.
What if you are unsure of how many people will come?
In that case week for people to accept your invitations to get a better idea of how many will attend. Much you know or have a rough estimate of how many will attend, then ask people to be on your bridal party.
An alternative is to only ask one or two people initially that you absolutely must have on your bridal party and then add more as the number of wedding guests increases.
Is it okay to pay for some people on the bridal party cannot afford to come on their own?
Being on a destination wedding bridal party can be an expensive. Your bridesmaids and groomsmen are expected to buy airfare, stay at hotels and pay for food for up to a week. That can get quite expensive and may not be affordable for some people on your bridal party.
So is okay to subsudize one persons expenses and not others on the bridal party?
Only in extreme cases should where there is no other choice.
If you must have someone at the wedding, then consider subsidizing some of their expenses. Just make sure that no one else finds out or else you are going to be paying for everyone’s expenses.
An alternative is to subsidize a portion of the cost for everyone on the bridal party. For example you could choose to rent a large house at your own expense and let the entire bridal party stay there. This way no one on the bridal party pays for lodging, and you end up reducing the cost for everyone as a group.
At the end of the day, selecting people to be on your bridal party is a special invitation that you should only extend to the people who really want to be there. While you will always have a family member or two that you didn’t want on the bridal party, just make sure the majority of the people are responsible enough to make your special day as easy as possible.
What should you read next?
Take a look at some of the responsibilities of the bridal party attendants.